This is a love letter in its own way
Implied Panic GSF, 1500 words, PG, post-divorce
The last picture Jon slips into the album is one they took before officially going their separate ways. It’s a terrible photo in every regard: Brendon’s laughing so hard that his eyes are closed, Spencer’s turned away from the camera, Ryan is rolling his eyes and Jon is still sliding into his place on the couch, not quite fast enough to beat the timer.
A/N: Apparently the way I've decided to deal with Panic's split (divorce, break-up, whatever you want to call it) is by writing fic. Thanks for breaking the writer's block, boys. Title is a twist on Pete's lyrics, from "Bang the Doldrums."

( four love letters )

It's been a while since I've done a meme, and I do enjoy talking about myself from time to time.

# Comment saying Interview Me.
# I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can get to know you better.
# Update your journal with the answers to the questions.
# Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions.

From zeitheist:

( Five questions... )

So how is everyone? I have just started three weeks of holidays, which is wonderful. I also went to the gym for the first time yesterday, which was sort of terrifying - I hate any experience where I don't know exactly what to expect - but I ended up really enjoying myself. Hilarious as the instructor was (and the music, oh my goodness - I did not need a remix of Zombie, I really didn't) it was actually the best workout I've had in a long time.

I am going to try and use some of my ample holiday time to actually write something. I've been feeling very removed from fic and from writing in general for the past little while, and I want to get back into it.

Also - Big Bangs! You guys, seriously, rec me your favourites. I truly don't know where to start. I read mahoni's The Uncharted Sea in one sitting last night, and absolutely loved it. It's a really fascinating world to disappear into for a few hours. But it's not even a Big Bang, so I have a long list of fics that I've just been staring at, unsure of which one to read next.

My good friend tailoredshirt came to me last week with an idea (that she possibly stole from someone else - shh!) for a song-a-day community. The idea was to share and discover new music, one song at a time. Seeing as how I, you know, like music, I figured that it wasn't such a bad idea. And thusly - lifesoundslike!

By watching (and joining!) the comm, you'll have at least a few songs a day showing up on your flist, with a short recommendation and a link. There are only a few official posters, but we'll also have guest reccers, and you're welcome to sign up! We're hoping for a really diverse mix of music to come out of this, with the possibility of themed weeks and other snazzy things as we go along.

If any of this sounds good to you then please go join lifesoundslike. All posts are members-only, especially the ones with the download links. We're just getting started, and we're really excited!

Wow, it has been a long time since I posted. Which is just me being lazy more than anything else. Just a few random things, in dot points:

- Big Bang! If you have any favourites so far, I'd love recs. I'm not totally sure where to start. Though I can recommend lyo's fic, because it's amazing.

-Speaking of fic, I recently saw Star Trek - as in, the latest movie - and I am now addicted to Spock/Kirk. Pretend to be surprised for just a second.

-Another new obsession: American Idol slash. Okay, seriously - I do not watch American Idol. I never have. I had no idea who any of these people were until bloodbelieve asked me to beta a short Cook/Archuleta fic, and somehow that spiralled into me reading Adam/Kris fic, and...yeah, I have no good excuses for this one, guys.

-I am going away on an ice hockey tournament this weekend, so of course I've come down with an unbelievably nasty cold. Story of my life. (It's entirely possible that I stress so much about these things that I actually make myself sick, but I'm trying not to dwell on that.)

-On a happier note, I just made myself muffins! I actually made up the recipe as I went along, which is something I never do, and, while they're not the best muffins I've ever made, they don't totally suck. Colour me surprised.

How are you guys? Sorry I've been so distant - once again, no good excuses.

THE ANONYMOUS WRITING FEEDBACK MEME

Because feedback on writing is always a good idea, especially if it's honest.

Also, further apologies for my inability to respond to anything in a timely fashion. I haven't forgotten - I'm just behind on everything these days.

Hope everyone's weeks are going well.

One last thing - we heard musical performances by some of the girls at my school today, and one group did this amazingly beautiful rendition of "Hide and Seek," by Imogen Heap. So pretty. I love a capella.

Dreamwidth invite codes, anyone?

I have nearly finished my Ancient History oral! It's still too long, but what can you do, right? Um...how are you guys? How are your weekends going?

I actually have very little to say at the moment. I'm hanging out in my kitchen, trying to write (getting around to prompt responses, I swear!), listening to Sigur Rós, and enjoying my Sunday afternoon.

So I keep participating in memes in other people's journals, and then forgetting to do them here. Epic fail, I know.

#1 - The problem with Livejournal is that we all think we are so close, but really, we know nothing about each other. Hence, I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about. Then post this in your LJ and find out what people don't know about you.

...because I am occasionally self-centered and like to talk about myself.

#2 - Okay, I actually appear to have lost the rules for this meme, because I am just that organized. This means I also don't know who I stole it from - if it was you, feel free to tell me I'm an idiot. But it had to do with the top 50 artists on Lastfm, & answering questions about them. ( Here it is. )

Also, I am still open to prompts. See this entry. (For those of you who already asked for something - I'm working on it, I swear!)

Oh, and one last thing - I'm friends with a woman on my hockey team, and she invited me along for a weekend family vacation in August. Which is really awesome of her, and I'm really happy to go. Thing is, they've just extended it so they're going to be on vacation for a week, which I can't do because a) I'd feel like I was imposing even more than I already am and b) I cannot miss a week of school. So I'll have to fly back from the Gold Coast on my own, which...shouldn't be as terrifying as it is? I can barely manage public transportation without having panic attacks, seriously - the flying thing is going to be a bit iffy. But I don't really want to let that fear prevent me from going, you know?

Wow, that was longer than intended. Apologies. How are we all, halfway through the week?

So currently I am sitting in the library and alternating taking notes from ancient texts for my Ancient History assignment with reading some Panic porn. This makes me feel vaguely guilty, like the library is a sacred place. Or maybe I'm just worried that I'm going to have some seriously messed up dreams tonight that artfully blends Cicero, Plutarch, and porn.

Oh god, my mind is a weird place.

Anyway! What to tell you. I did my English oral last Friday - it went well, I guess. My English teacher interrupted me - he does this all the time, and it still bothers me - to ask me to explain "to the class" (read: to him) what a blog was. This prompted several awkward questions from my classmates that made me desperately want to make my journal private for all of four hours, and then I got over it.

I will hopefully be getting back into the swing of LJ sometime soon-ish, and therefore will actually start being a good friend on commenting on things. I'm sorry I haven't been; I've been genuinely busy, with actual schoolwork. Not having a social life or anything, don't worry.

How about you guys? Anyone else really busy? Anyone working on writing (big bang, maybe?)? If so, how's it all going? Not that I want to send anyone into a panic, I've just been feeling the lack of fic lately. And a lack of writing. If you wanted to prompt me right now, for original fiction or for bandom drabbles, I would not be opposed to it. Give me a pairing & a prompt, or just a prompt, and I'll see what I can do.

Alright, so two posts in one day is a little excessive for my tastes, but I'm trying to keep up with this writing assignment of mine. Feel free to skip over if it's entirely uninteresting to you - I'll understand.

Step 1 - write character snippets. Um, I only did this for the girl who gets the eating disorder, writing about a few facets of her physical appearance in minute detail. (Type of jeans she wears, her hair, and her walk.) The main character, the person who's telling the story...I guess I want less of the focus to be on her, at least in appearance, because she's the eyes for the reader, wholly.

Step 2 - research. You've got to understand - I don't research. This isn't for any reason other than laziness, frankly. It's not that I think I always know enough to write about, it's just that, because I don't plan, I usually just sit down and write and hope it all works out. That means that, if there's ever anything I need specific details for, I tend to guess and/or glaze over them. I actually did research for this, and it helped because it gave me starting points for various snippets.

Step 3 - write. With no stopping, either. Just wrote without editing, so I have a really basic first draft. It's pretty much the length I want it to be - 800 words to be read aloud in five mintues? - but we'll see.

I'm posting this extremely rough, entirely unedited first draft here for posterity's sake, and also for your opinions, if you've got any. I'd really appreciate the feedback on this one. Especially if you have any personal experience in the area that you don't mind sharing with me, because, despite my research, this is a bit of a blind exercise for me. I'm still sort of feeling around things.

( the progression of an eating disorder... )

So remember how, a little while ago, I posted that comment fic (the ridiculous, fluffy, Brendon/Spencer one?)? This is yet another one - also ridiculous and fluffy, I mean - that I've just done a really basic edit on. If there are any mistakes, run-on sentences, bad punctuation, etc. you have my apologies. Consider this your warning, though. This is the mostly unpolished version. That's sort of lacking in a proper ending, but there you have it.

Untitled (Um...The Boys are Ridiculous and/or Ryan Wants a Contract)
Jon/Ryan, Spencer/Brendon
PG-13
( Ryan is totally a 15-year-old girl when it comes to Jon Walker )

Comment fic #3 should be coming soon!

So there's a short story competition I might enter, with the only prompt being "light." Thoughts? Ideas? Directions to head in? I hate those bloody vague prompts, I really do.

In terms of other writing. I'm thinking I might write about the progression of an eating disorder for my English creative, sort of starting from when it's just a promise to eat healthy to when it becomes a serious health risk. They'd just be short vignettes, probably mostly snippets of dialogue, because I need to be able to a) write this and edit it 7 times before next week and b) read it aloud while still keeping people's interest. Do you think that would work?

I haven't decided if I'm going to write it in first or third person yet, though I do know that it'd be one friend's view of the other, observing the changes in her friend. I need to sit down and flesh them both out a bit better, though, because right now I barely know what they're like. So I think tonight I'll try to write bits of characterization between them, completely unrelated to the narrative, just to get a feel for them. (I think the girl who develops the eating disorder will be named Erin, and she might have a love of old-school jazz and hippie clothes. Maybe. Must think.)

I've been pretty absent the past little while, haven't I? I've been reading my flist, I swear! The conspicuous lack of commenting has more to do with the fact that I recently broke my finger (index, right hand) than my not wanting to comment on your lovely entries.

I don't know how many of you actually read an entry of mine from a little while back in which I complained about an English oral I have to write, mimicking the writing process of an author...well, I've picked one, I'm pretty sure. Laurie Halse Anderson is by far one of my favourite YA authors, and she just happens to blog as she writes. So for the next little while, I'll be keeping updates of my writing for this particular piece on here.

I'm not going to make it private because I want to leave it open in case one of you just happens to have an excellent piece of advice or a great suggestion for a character/plot/setting/anything at all. Just giving you a heads up.

Now. How is everyone? Tell me something from your week - a random encounter, a piece of bad luck, a song that's been in your head...anything.

I am extremely bored this Easter weekend, though I really have no case to be. There's about four million things to do in terms of school work, but it's sort of difficult to motivate myself in any way.

Instead, I have memes from sirritwist, who has also just started a two week holiday and is also bored.

Firstly, three rounds of Marry, Shag, or Throw Off a Cliff. (I resisted up until this point, but these are always entertaining.)

( Gerard Way, Pete Wentz & Gabe Saporta )

( Spencer Smith, Nate Novarro & Bob Bryar )

( Patrick Stump, Jon Walker & William Beckett )

Second meme:
1. Reply to this post, and I will pick six of your icons.
2. Make a post (including the meme info) and talk about the icons I chose.
3. Other people can then comment to you and make their own posts.
4. This will create a never-ending cycle of icon glee.

( Icons! )

Entirely unrelated - I still do not get Twitter. I mean, I understand the fundamental aspects of it, but I guess I just don't get the appeal, all adorable bandom participation aside.

Happy Easter, everyone! Or Happy Long Weekend, alternately!

And it's time for an entry not because I have anything of any real interest to say, but more because I have two memes to do. We are all aware of how much I love memes, aren't we?

Really quick, though - I have been writing so much lately, it's ridiculous. Hopefully, once I'm more or less set with the various pieces of original fiction I'm working on, I will start work on an actual fanfic (Spencer/Ryan, Mental Hospital AU, been wanting to write it for months). For now, though, I am struggling my way through writing some poetry for English. I am finding it difficult because I often feel like I am just writing fiction in paragraphs and then putting in line breaks to make it look like poetry. I mean, obviously that's not my actual process, but it feels like that.

Two memes:

#1 (stolen from immortal_lights- The Challenge: "Think of 15 albums that had such a profound effect on you they changed your life or the way you looked at it. They sucked you in and took you over for days, weeks, months, years. These are the albums that you can use to identify time, places, people, emotions. These are the albums that no matter what they were thought of musically shaped your world. When you finish, tag 15 others. Make sure you copy and paste this part so they know the drill. Get the idea now? Good. Tag, you're it!"

( in no particular order )

#2 - (from annon_of_rhi
001. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
002. I will respond by asking you ANY five questions of a very intimate and creepily personal nature. Or not so creepy/personal.
003. You WILL update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
004. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
005. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

( This is a very bossy meme, isn't it? )

Hope your weekends have been wonderful, and that your weeks won't be too shabby either.

It has suddenly decided to get hot again. We were getting cold days, the kind of weather I love - finally autumn - and then suddenly, yesterday, it was 32°C (so 89°F, I think? or thereabouts?) and I had soccer tryouts. I was somewhat unimpressed.

Today is Harmony Day, which translates into us having a non-uniform day at school and the Safe Schools Committee (yeah, you read that right) holding a stall to sell us baked goods. There is also a fashion parade of different world fashions, which is kind of an interesting idea. We were told this in assembly yesterday, and then one last girl walked up to the mic and was all "Oh, and try to remember the spirit of Harmony Day, too? Which is to value and respect each other's differences. Thanks." But she was all meek and quiet, like the real point of the day was to be "Non-uniform! Food! Fashion!" and she was standing up there with her morals and such and getting all self-conscious.

Or, you know. Maybe I'm just reading into it too much. Anyway, the other nifty thing about Harmony Day is that its colour is orange, so we have bbeen asked to wear orange. I don't know about you guys, but I own no orange. It's not a part of my wardrobe at all. I was hypothesizing that perhaps they only picked orange because there were no colours left for "days" like this, you know? Soon our entire year will be filled up with days for charities and other good causes, and we're definitely going to run out of colours. (Today is Topaz Day! That's right! Please wear Topaz in support of...)

Okay, enough rambling. Though I feel like I do this waaay too much, I'm going to ask you guys to read over some original fiction for me. There is a national writing competition that I'm entering (I entered it last year, too) and I'm not so sure about this story, if it works or not. I tend to find you LJ friends are much more likely to a) take the time to read and b) give concrit, not just praise, so. It's 1500 words, theme is finding your way back.

( The first night Grace is back home, her mother cooks a hearty meal, an autumn meal: pumpkin soup. )

And how is everyone's week going so far? Anything new and exciting happening in your lives? I hope you're well!

Flist! I am in dire need of your assistance!

Well, perhaps "dire" is too strong a word. I have an English assignment in which I need to find an author with a pretty distinctive style who has an interesting writing process - and then I have to write a piece, mimicking both the style and the process. (Then I have to present it to the class and talk about my process, but that's a whole other kettle of fish.)

Point is, I have no idea who to do. I can come up with interesting authors, but then I inevitably hit road blocks when it comes to interesting writing styles. For instance, Chuck Palahniuk? Yeah, he just, you know, sits down and writes. Easy to mimic, but therefore kind of defeating the purpose. And then there's the problem of people like Hunter S. Thompson, who are fascinating, but, um...mimicking his process? Not so much legal, and definitely not acceptable to talk about in class.

So! Any and all suggestions you have would be greatly appreciated. I'm really stumped with this one, and I need time to research, write the piece, and write the oral.

Thanks in advance! How is everyone? Good? Anything I can help you with?

ETA: Okay, so I don't Twitter (nor do I really understand it - worst teenager ever) but I just got linked to Christopher Walken's Twitter, and I am so, so amused. You guys, he's amazing! For instance: An escalator in Grand Central Station is out-of-service. I stood on it for a minute or two in the name of subtle irony. No-one else did.

Very, very rarely, I actually sit down and writing something. Even rarer than that is when I actually like something I've written. This is one of those incredibly rare occasions. I'd love to see what you guys think of this, so if you have a second to read 500 words and give me your opinions, that'd be awesome.

( it makes me think of your smile, just how easy it is )

In other news: I am sort of on track to get all my homework done on time and with little stress, I think. Well, not "little," but at least less than usual. And starting tomorrow I'm kind of going to overhaul my diet a little and stop with my snacking, because it's a) constant and b) ridiculous.

Hockey starts tomorrow, and I'm kind of nervous. I hate starting things anew, and meeting all new people and new coaches and trying to find a way to fit in all over again. I'm just never really ready for it.

Anyway, how have your weekends been? I've had a long weekend, and I'm always amazed what one extra day can do to make you feel like you have incredible amounts of time.

Ages ago, lyo and I had about fourteen different commentfics happening. Currently I am trying to edit them and make them fit for consumption, and I just finished the first one.

Untitled (or, if you'd like: Fortfic, since that's what I call it.)
Brendon/Spencer
PG, I'd say
About 6000 words.
Incredibly fluffy, pretty self-indulgent, but definitely fun to write.

( Spencer builds Brendon a fort in his backyard... )

ETA: And hey, if you don't like Brendon/Spencer or fluff, or whatever, but you still want something to make you smile? Take a look at this. It's an advertisement, but I guarantee you'll smile.

More from that five-things association meme, this time from emmaheartscake.

( Panic, Australia, writing, hockey, books )

How is everyone doing? You know I'm totally serious when I ask this question - I am genuinely interested in what you're up to or thinking, however insignificant it may seem to you.

Tonight I'm going to try and get some writing done, because I have four things to be working on, three of which are actually original fiction, two of which have deadlines (K, I'm not counting your fic as having a deadline...even though I probably should), and one of which is fanfiction. (Spencer/Ryan, mental hospital AU...I'll spare you the rambling, but let it just be said that I am really excited to get back to working on it.)

Oh, and I'm writing all this from my wonderful laptop, which has finally been returned to me in full health! Hope you're having a great week - and if you're not, well, the weekend is not that far away.

Apparently, computers come to my house to die. My laptop is still away, and my home computer started smoking on the weekend...so if you are getting incredibly late responses to e-mails, comments, entries, or the beta-reading I'm supposed to be doing (there are two of you, and you know who you are) I am sorry. Bear with me and my faily technology for a little while longer, please?

In the meantime, because I am so stressed I have constant headaches:

A quiet love meme.

One little compliment can make you feel amazing. So give me a compliment, anything in the entire world, even that my shoelaces are pretty. Put this in your journal. And once you get some comments, put that entry in a memory or tag and when you are feeling down, just go to that entry and this will remind you how great you are.

Comments are screened.